


stay with me, tonight

by jjokkiri



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: (but more like... coworkers with benefits/???), Feelings, Fluff, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-26
Packaged: 2019-03-10 00:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13492815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjokkiri/pseuds/jjokkiri
Summary: He’s not supposed to feel so upset—not supposed to say anything—when he feels Minhyuk trying to slip out of bed at three in the morning and leave him all alone, but Changkyun was never supposed to feel anything towards Minhyuk, anyway.





	stay with me, tonight

It couldn’t have been past three in the morning.

He hadn’t been asleep for very long, because the arms that were warmly wrapped around his bare waist kept him up.

The slight movement by his side was enough to shake Im Changkyun out of his short slumber and slowly nudge him awake, his eyes fluttering open to search the dimly lit room. It was subtle but, to a light sleeper like Changkyun, it felt like someone was shining bright lights at his closed eyes—drew him out of sleep, immediately.

And before his eyes could register his surroundings, he could hear the soft rustle of bedsheets from beside him and the warmth by his side escaping him—the arms that were carefully wrapped around his waist were suddenly gone.

In the darkness, it didn’t seem that the other man noticed that Changkyun had woken.

The other man was still careful, moving the sheets off of his body and replacing his warmth with a pillow, hoping to leave Changkyun’s room quietly (and hoping that he could leave without being noticed). Surely, they’d see one another at a different time. With a relationship like theirs, it was almost certain that they would be seeing one another again.

It was typical for someone to leave in the middle of the night after a hookup. It wasn’t anything that really could be questioned, because the other man wasn’t really supposed to stay. There were no strings attached to their relationship; no spoken feelings that were supposed to tie them down to one another. They were supposed to be stress relief for one another and that was the bottom line of their relationship—nothing more and nothing less. That kind of relationship didn’t demand that they wouldn’t wake up alone in the morning.

Still, Changkyun’s heart jolted with a strange feeling, when he realized that the older man was leaving—that something being what he couldn’t put a name to (perhaps, something that he didn’t want to try to put a name to).

He wasn’t supposed to expect anything from his relationship with Lee Minhyuk—they were nothing outside of the casual hookups when life and work got a little too much, and they needed something to relieve their stress. Minhyuk was a senior in the company he worked at, and he couldn’t recall how they managed to start their little arrangement with one another—couldn’t remember how he ended up sleeping with Minhyuk in the first place.

Minhyuk was handsome and well-composed—a bright, cheerful man who didn’t seem to have very many things troubling him. Changkyun knew better than to believe in the façade that he kept up in front of everyone else, because every reason for Minhyuk’s gentle touches to his body and rougher kisses to his lips was the result of everything that bothered him. For Changkyun, it was the same. Or at the very least, it started off as something similar.

 _‘Something similar’_ because, at some point, he was certain that the meaning of having Minhyuk in his life had strayed away from its initial purpose. From simply sleeping with the older man for stress relief, he began to hope to see him in the hallways of the company a little more often.

On the days he got lucky and passed the older man in the hallway, he would bow his head and offer him a shy smile. At work, in the eyes of the public, Minhyuk only managed to give him a polite smile and a nod of his head, but when they fell into bed with one another, the older man would bring up the fleeting gazes he caught Changkyun shooting at him—teasing and somehow, even taunting.

He wasn’t really sure when it all started to change, but when Minhyuk fell asleep with his arms wrapped around Changkyun’s waist, he found his heart fluttering in his chest. It kept him up.

Minhyuk usually left after they were done—he didn’t stay very long, because there wasn’t a need to. Changkyun learned that Minhyuk wasn’t the type to really want to hang out after sleeping with someone; wasn’t the type of person to cuddle after a fuck, because it seemed too intimate for casual hookups. It stayed like that for months.

The thing where Minhyuk would fall asleep with him was recent. It only started happening in the past few weeks: Minhyuk would collapse against him and wrap his arms around the younger man’s waist, burying his face into the crook of his neck and murmuring something incoherent—something about how he was just going to stay with him for a few minutes, before he would head home for the night.

And the abrupt change made Changkyun realize how long it had been since this whole thing with Minhyuk had started. They’d been exclusively sleeping with one another for almost an entire year.

(And a part of his mind nudged and mockingly whispered at him _—”No wonder you’re so attached to him.”_ )

Perhaps, it was that sudden change was what made him want to speak up.

Perhaps, that was what drove him to make his sleepless state known to Minhyuk.

And the rational part of his mind told him that he really shouldn’t have spoken up, really should have just let Minhyuk leave him all alone, but something in his head—something in his heart—suddenly had his lips moving on their own.

“Where are you going?” he asked, voice raspy as he shifted in the bed, rolling onto his side to hug the pillow that Minhyuk had replaced his warmth with, and peering up at the dark-haired man who was trying to quietly slide off of his bed. The sound of his voice was obviously surprising, because he could see Minhyuk jumping in surprise.

The older man turned to look at him, blinking to adjust his eyes to fix onto Changkyun’s face in the darkness.

“Did I wake you?” he replied, voice soft, despite being caught. Changkyun reached a hand out to take Minhyuk’s long fingers into his own and he let his eyes flutter shut, loosely keeping his hold on the older man’s fingers. The older man barely flinched at the touch, but he was hesitant to close his fingers around Changkyun’s smaller hand.

“You did,” he said, quietly. “Were you just about to leave?”

“Yeah,” he replied. Changkyun’s free hand reached over to the lamp on his nightstand and he turned the light on, letting the dim light illuminate their surroundings. With the light on, Changkyun could see that Minhyuk had found the time to quickly get dressed, before Changkyun called out to him. “I thought you were sleeping.”

“I thought you were, too,” Changkyun answered, lowering his eyes and looking away from Minhyuk, despite his fingers still loosely holding on. There was a glimmer of guilt in Minhyuk’s eyes, but Changkyun swore that he imagined it. The older man exhaled softly and crouched down onto his knees, peering at Changkyun and searching his expression, but Changkyun refused to meet his eyes.

“You sound upset,” Minhyuk said, his gentle fingertips brushing over Changkyun’s knuckles before he held his hand.

“Why would I be upset?” Changkyun asked—a denial, despite his tone giving himself away. _Minhyuk couldn’t keep him up, head filled with thoughts, and then just leave him all alone._ “There’s no reason for me to be upset.”

“Don’t lie to me,” the older man said, frowning. “I can hear it in your voice. You don’t look happy, either.”

Burying his face into the pillow, his free hand curling into a fist, Changkyun huffed—”Since when did you care?”

 _“Changkyun,”_ Minhyuk called, brows furrowing at him. Minhyuk was suddenly so close to him, and Changkyun could feel his heartbeat racing in his chest. And as much as he denied it, there was something about Minhyuk _caring_ about him that made him feel so many different things (it made him feel like they might be something a little more than co-workers with benefits). “Tell me why you’re upset. I don’t feel comfortable leaving, if you’re upset with me.”

Squeezing Minhyuk’s fingers gently, Changkyun took a deep breath and peered up at the older man, nerves dancing in his eyes. “If you’re really not comfortable with leaving when I’m upset with you, you should stay here with me, tonight,” he said, softly. Minhyuk hesitated at the remark—his eyes flickering with unsureness.

And he’d known he was overstepping some kind of boundary when he made the remark, but he couldn’t help the way his heart uncomfortably jolted with disappointment—heart dropping in his chest. Wordlessly searching Minhyuk’s expression, the younger man exhaled a soft sigh— _dejected_.

“Don’t say things you don’t mean,” Changkyun told him, letting go of his fingers and turning around in the bed.

He pulled the blankets around himself, biting down on his lower lip.

 _“Changkyun,”_ Minhyuk called to him, somehow sounding desperate. The younger man buried himself deeper into the blankets, making a point to try and ignore the presence of the older man. Yet, more than anything, he wanted and respond to the way that Minhyuk called his name; wanting his attention.

“You can leave, if you want to,” Changkyun told him. But, despite the words leaving his lips, he knew it would hurt a thousand times more, if Minhyuk were to listen to him and leave. “It’s okay. Just go and pretend that you never woke me up in the first place.”

He waited for the sound of footsteps moving away from him—waited for the painful drop of his heart in his chest—but, it never came. He could feel Minhyuk’s fingers tugging at the blankets, trying to uncover the younger man’s body. Changkyun held tightly onto the edge of the blanket, resisting the pull.

“Changkyun, talk to me,” Minhyuk urged, the tell-tale dip in the bed, just beside him, making it known that Minhyuk wasn’t leaving, just yet. “Please, I don’t want to leave, if you’re not going to at least look at me.”

He’d given up tugging at the blanket—accepting that Changkyun wasn’t going to let go—instead resting his hand against the younger man’s arm, over the layer of cotton that was covering Changkyun’s naked body.

_“Changkyun—”_

“Are you going to leave if I look at you?” Changkyun interrupted, a mumble, fisting the blanket and pulling it closer to himself, as if it could provide him with any kind of protection—as if he needed to shield himself from Minhyuk.

Minhyuk fell silent, but his hand stayed rested on Changkyun’s body. He could feel the warmth of the older man’s hand through the blanket and a part of him wanted for Minhyuk to just _leave_ and let him wallow in his own self-pity. It was his fault for letting himself slip a little too far beyond the lines drawn around their relationship.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“I don’t want you to do anything that _you_ don’t want to do.”

The older man heaved a sigh and he slipped his hands under the blanket, when Changkyun’s guard dropped for a split second. Minhyuk’s warm hands against his body had him almost shivering at the touch—a burst of heat across his body and enveloping him in everything _hopeful._

“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do, either,” Minhyuk finally said, gentle. Then, as an afterthought, he added to his statement—a little hesitant. “But, I _do_ want to know why you’re upset with me. Is it something that I did, earlier? Is it because I’m leaving? But, it’s not like it’s a new thing that I leave in the middle of the night, is it?”

“It’s a new thing for you to hold me as you fall asleep, though,” Changkyun retorted, “Or at least, _pretend_ to fall asleep, so you can leave me all alone in the morning!”

“But, why is that such a big deal?” Minhyuk exclaimed, his patience seemingly vanishing and leaving him finally sounding frustrated with the situation. “Why is it so big of a deal that I touch you after we fuck?!”

Sitting up abruptly and throwing the blanket away from his hands, letting it all pool in his lap, the younger man turned to look at Minhyuk, his eyes wide with disbelief and exasperation.

_“Because I feel things for you that I shouldn’t! You’re so stupid!”_

A hush fell over them—the realization striking Changkyun quickly, when his words finally caught up with him. Eyes wide, the younger man’s hands flew up to cover his mouth. Suddenly, he was willing for the past few seconds to all to have been a figment of his imagination—willing for it all to have slipped right past Minhyuk, because he was _so_ embarrassed to have accidentally admitted all of his feelings in a fit of frustration.

He turned his head away from the older man, insistently refusing to meet with eyes. He missed the way that Minhyuk’s eyes suddenly softened, when the words finally registered in his mind. Yet, he couldn’t miss the moment that Minhyuk suddenly leaned forward and caught Changkyun’s face between his palms, letting their lips meet in kiss.

Frozen, Changkyun’s eyes widened—his eyes barely able to focus on their proximity and the way Minhyuk’s eyes fluttered shut, when he kissed him. They’d kissed before— _many times before_ —but, it had always been for the sake of foreplay; the moments before they rolled into bed together and rid themselves of all their stress. But, this time, kissing Minhyuk was different—it _felt_ different.

But, the kiss was so short, despite it feeling like an entire lifetime flashed through Changkyun’s mind—too quickly for him to properly process. He barely had the time to gather himself and react, before Minhyuk pulled away, knocking their foreheads together. The older man’s left hand dropped from where it was cupping Changkyun’s cheek to fall into his lap and take his fingers in his own.

“Was that so hard to tell me?” Minhyuk asked, his gentle hand cupping Changkyun’s cheek. Changkyun’s cheeks were dusted with colour, barely visible in the dim light from the lamp, but his eyes glimmered with the shyness he was suddenly overwhelmed with. “Was it so hard to tell me how you feel about me?”

Changkyun averted his eyes, again, but Minhyuk tilted his face to force their eyes to meet. Shyly, Changkyun bit down on his lower lip. His words escaped him in the moment that Minhyuk was staring at him so intimately.

“You didn’t say anything, either,” he said, softly, almost accusatory. Minhyuk managed a soft chuckle, and a part of Changkyun wanted to push him away for it—frustration blending itself with his relief and embarrassment. “How was I supposed to know how you felt?”

Minhyuk’s hands dropped from Changkyun’s face, gently sliding down his slide, soft fingertips drawing absent patterns against his hips just under the material of the blanket.

“One of us had to speak up, eventually,” Minhyuk admitted, “I just couldn’t imagine that you could feel the same way, maybe because of the nature of our relationship.”

Changkyun scoffed softly, “We’ve been sleeping with one another for an entire year. Did you really think of me as that strong-willed? You’re… _literally perfect_ —I don’t understand how I _couldn’t_ fall for you.”

Foreheads pressed against one another, Minhyuk’s lips tugged into a small smile—bashful and flattered.

“Says you,” Minhyuk replied, nudging him gently. And for the first time, Changkyun was seeing him _flustered._

There was another space of silence between them, but this time, it was more comfortable. Staring at one another wasn’t nerve-wracking anymore, and Changkyun felt that part of his heart that always felt like _exploding_ , whenever he was with Minhyuk, finally being able to relax.

And if they’d spoken up a lot sooner, then maybe they could have avoided all the hidden feelings and nervous hearts. But, what was left behind them paved a path for them to continue walking on.

“I’ll stay with you,” Minhyuk whispered, suddenly, wrapping both of his arms around his waist and burying his face into the crook of Changkyun’s neck. “I’ll stay with you, tonight, Changkyun.”

“I told you not to do anything that you didn’t want to do,” Changkyun quipped, teasingly—but, there was a note in the way he spoke that gently told Minhyuk that he wasn’t entirely joking; wasn’t entirely secure.

 _“You’re so stupid,”_ Minhyuk murmured, softly. The sound of his voice was quiet, and a gentle vibration of his breath against the skin of Changkyun’s neck. “Maybe, that’s why I like you so much. It makes me want to protect you.”

Changkyun’s lips curled into a small smile, and he affectionately carded his fingers through Minhyuk’s dark locks.

_“I’m not sure I know anyone dumber than you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday to the adorable birthday boy ;w; hhhh i love changkyun so much, but obviously i have to throw him into questionable scenarios?? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ anyway~ you can find me on twitter @yuseokki, as per usual.


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